Author Gail Farrelly comments in "Midnight Ride of Paul Revere: The Sequel" - Kindle 2 TTS Authors Guild Protest kindles Reading Rights Revolution

Printer-friendly version

This author wrote the following after attending our protest in New York.

Midnight Ride of Paul Revere:  The Sequel 

By Gail Farrelly

On April 18, 1775, it was the famous Revolutionary cry "The British are coming!"  And on April 18, 2009?  An anniversary appearance.  The rider, on a motorized scooter instead of a horse, was the beloved Paul Revere.  This time his cry was:  "The Reading Police are coming!"  And the ride was not in Massachusetts, but on the streets of New York City. 

An anonymous source on the blogosphere scored an interview with the midnight rider and got the scoop on the April 18 ride.  Mr. Revere, dead since 1818, reported that he felt obliged to return to life, upon learning that an authors group was arguing that authors and publishers had the right to turn off the text-to-speech function on a recently released eBook reader.  "Imagine that," he said, shaking his head from side to side, "Reading a book aloud is now against the law." 

Revere said he was both horrified and amazed by the argument that a computer-speak version of the eBook meant a possible copyright violation.  "Hello, we're talking the same content here, whether you read it or listen to it," he said.  He spoke of doing a few dry runs on his scooter in New York City, while listening to a professionally produced audio book on his iPod, all the way marveling at the experience.  In fact, he proclaimed it "a performance worthy of Broadway," adding "how could anyone argue with a straight face that the computerized, robotic voice of an eBook could compete?" 

He explained that, just as he had feared, the threat has gone beyond the computerized voice of the eBook.   Now the police are knocking down doors to arrest anyone perpetrating 'illegal' reading.  "It's bad enough that they're after the eBooks, now they're silencing human readers as well.  I did what I could on Saturday night," Revere said, "to warn the public when the Reading Police would arrive, dragging unsuspecting readers off to jail, just because they were reading aloud."  He had a tear in his eye as he talked about kids left with their books, but no parental input, to help them pat the bunny or deal with a gluttonous caterpillar.  Until this silliness is put to rest, Revere plans to stage "The Reading Police Are Coming!" raids in numerous cities across the country.  Next stop:  Los Angeles.   

Revere did report, however, that there was a partially happy ending in one particular case.  For ninety-year-old Barbara Bored, Reading Police are a mixed blessing.  Her banker son had insisted on reading aloud to her at bedtime for years, but he had been recently arrested by the Reading Police and is serving a short jail term.  Barbara has admitted to friends that she is actually a bit relieved.  "I need a few weeks off," she said.  "Since he’s been unemployed for a few months now, the reading sessions have gotten longer and longer.  I know he's a good boy, but he has no imagination in choice of books.  I mean, who wants to listen to Pride and Prejudice or Little Dorrit over and over?  At least move on to something with a vampire or a zombie or two." 

Our source reported that Paul Revere gave his ponytail a tug and adjusted his Patriot cap, mentioning that he was on his way to have dinner with a fellow, Henry Wadsworth Something-or-other, who was writing a poem about him.  Revere then jumped on his scooter, revved up the motor and said, "The first line?  ‘Listen my children and you shall hear.’" Just before he rode off, he gave his brief review of the poem-in-progress:  "Cool message."  Then he added rather wistfully, "If only they would listen, so all of us could hear." 

Gail Farrelly (www.FarrellySistersOnline.com) is the author of three mystery books. 
Her fourth, "The Virtual Heiress," will be published next year.